What exactly is a compulsive liar? How is this different from an day-to-day hypocrite? Perhaps something to consider first is how we also lie. Do not deny it, YOU are also guilty of being deceitful. I lie, we are all guilty of this at some point – though hopefully most of the time we try not to, and struggle with it when we have to. So if you think you are by and large straightforward, what is a compulsive liar in comparison? Well, the most evident thing is that they lie repeatedly, as a routine, without the same self moderation we undergo if we ever do lie.
Before we get into how to detect a compulsive liar though, we also really should consider the difference between pathological liar and a compulsive liar as they are often used in the same breath but people often use them interchangeably. A simple summary:
Compulsive liars will fib for no personal gain but they do it as a habit. It is a ingrained reply to inquiries they’ve learned over time but they do realize they really are lying to you and are more often than not well aware of the hurt of these lies, they just find it hard to stop. Sometimes this is a indication of lack of confidence and dwindling self-worth, so they make stuff up to shield or advertise them self.
Pathological lying is a bit different because the liar really doesn’t give two figs that they’re lying and will lie to you for some sort of personal gain. They are similar to a sociopath in a many habits and do not mind who they harm as long as their bending of the truth gets them to their goal. To tell if someone is a liar who is pathological is extremely difficult!
With this in mind, how must you spot a compulsive liar, and what can you do?
Somebody who is so accustomed to being dishonest has the unfortunate talent to be able to prevent letting slip several signs of lying. It is either a trained effect to not give away some cues to deceit, but more frighteningly it may be because they start to believe their own deception. This means they are much more difficult to detect in a dialogs from observation, but not impossible. One can find a number of things that compulsive liars do that can be seen from watching them for a short period, but more with more time such as:
- Way Too Much Detail – Compulsive liars do not just lie, they frequently lie BIG with a great many details.
- Too Good – Many compulsive liars want to raise their self-esteem and will lie to you to make their life look better than it is. This is just about a plague on facebook where users upload only their best photos and update the status on a regular basis talking about how great things are happening
- Seeking Attention – Some liars will lie about how terrible their life is however. This is quite different and is more of an attention seeking tactic to make people console them, or at least put them at the center of attention.
- Contradictions – This is the largest part in spotting a compulsive lair. Over time their lies will begin to clash with the other and they will point out their deception. Calling them on their bullshit might sound like the way to act, but it can drive them to fabricate even nastier lies, or they might get incensed and aggressive.
So, all people lie – some use lies as a weapon – and finally, some habitually lie and cannot seem to stop. The last is the compulsive liar and can be spotted, but some are not bad, but deserve our pity, be more concerned about the pathological liars however as they do not care how much hurt they cause to get their way.
Detect A Liar 